How to deal with deep grief?

Hey there,

it's been ten months since I lost my soulmate. We truly were soulmates and clicked from the first time we ever talked, were always together and shared everything for the 12 years that followed. As much as it was the greatest gift in my life I feel shattered and like a ghost since she's died. I'm only 35 and have probably a long time ahead of me without her. I've always believed in a God and afterlife but all of my beliefs are shattered as well.

I'm constantly asking myself where she's gone and why she's gone. I ask myself if we're ever going to meet again...

I'm already doing a therapy but I want to spiritually find my peace somehow as well - if that is even possible. We both were so determined to build the life of our dreams and creating a wonderful life for us and many others. I just don't understand why she had to die so early and miserably and I'm all alone in this world now as we only wanted to give and be good.

I wonder if anyone here has some insight on the topic of loss, death, a probable afterlife etc. I just want to believe again but most of the time everthing feels pointless to me.