Explain your teams most recent fixture badly.

I'll go first.

My team, which is quite a good team, played the only team that have consistently made my team look like a bad team during every encounter for the last 8 years. That team is a very good team.

First a large not Scottish man pushed a smaller Irish man over. The large man had to go sit down and Think About What He Had Done for ten minutes. Shortly after, our most intelligent player decided to use his brain to make our most skillful player have a lie down. Unfortunately, because his brain was in his skull, which is quite pointy, the skillful moustache player lay down for too long and was put on a picnic table. This clearly was all part of the plan, reflected by the 6-2 bench.

Meanwhile, the blonde not Scottish man sulked on a stationary bike, and the green men at the front pushed the blue men over quite a lot, and wouldn't share the ball.

The blue men were true to form, and scored just enough points in the middle bit to allow their fans to be disappointed twice. The blonde not Scottish man highlighted, with a superb try, just how stupid he was for pushing the little green man over previously.

Johnny Sexton, clearly regretting his retirement, appears to have killed a younger man and is now wearing his skin. The deception was nearly unveiled, however he realised at the last moment and craftily missed a kick to deflect suspicion.

I had too much beer, and spent the evening looking at a montage of Warran Gatlands face during the last Wales game to cheer myself up.