How to heal from hair trauma?

How to heal from hair trauma?

Idk if this is a valid term. But growing up I had the hair that hairstylist were overwhelmed by and never really had the patience to do. I have really thick 4c hair that tangles. Paired that with being a very tender headed child, doing my hair was honestly very hard and uncomfortable.

As a child I would cry with how rough the hairstylist ( even my mom) would do my hair. But get yelled at constantly for crying. Alongside with that growing up I just never felt good with my hair. At times it looked nice but I know there were better hairstyles for me.

I kept my hair relaxed for most my life. Until I decided to go natural a few years ago.

I just have this unhealthy relationship with my hair. I like the look of my natural hair but I hate how difficult it is to take care of. And I finally decided to get locs but I’ve just experienced multiple setbacks since starting my journey.

I’m getting discouraged and my hair is one think that makes me feel put together. I haven’t felt beautiful at all. I’ve just kept it in twists to retain length and moisture but they don’t look good. Each hairstylist I go to doesn’t take their time with it and rushes to get it done since it takes so long. Or they just get tired.

I’ve questioned why my hair had to be so hard to take care of. I get overwhelmed with it too. Which is why I wanted to get locs to make it a bit more manageable for myself.

Would anyone have any advice or encouragement?