Might be an unhealthy INTP but not 100% certain

So lately I've been very apathetic and nihilistic to a point where it's sort of intrusive. Like a week ago my friends told me how I was doing horribly at my job at work and how I was very close to getting fired. Also like some of them said I should get therapy because I told them how apathetic and unmotivated and somewhat suicidal I was, which I don't really care for therapy soo...

Also lately I've been trying to argue a bit more with my mom and try to understand her more traditional viewpoints more and I keep asking "Why" to everything she says because I'm looking for a deeper meaning as to why she lives life normally when I see no point. I usually never talk to my family at all and avoid them like the plague. I also stay indoors all day when I don't work and I don't have any strong opinions on anything at all too, and I usually dread every mild inconvenience that happens. I don't usually end up getting excited for anything anymore too, and I usually cover up most of the things I say with humor so nobody suspects anything. I usually don't get anything of value done, and have no long-term goals with life, I honestly don't mind if I die, I even told my mom that to try and see how she reacts, and she seemed somewhat worried.

I know a lot of these could be considered unhealthy INTP habits, but I was also wondering if they are linked to any mental health disorders or illnesses too, also I plan on taking psychedelics to try and give my life greater meaning.

Any thoughts?