Took care of myself, again...

We were supposed to have sex today. We had planned it for the last week or so. I got home and was actually excited. I was actually looking forward to this despite the multiple let downs. He was too tired. I was so upset that, as usual, he made an excuse not to be with me. I don't understand...he says he wants me, he says he is attracted to me, he says he wants to have sex, but then when the time comes he backs out 💔💔 so I went in my room and used my dildo. I came along couple of times, but that deep ache was still there, so I went to sleep with my dildo still inside me. Not like he would notice anyways 🙄 but it did help a bit...