A boomer yelled at my sister, who is dying from cancer complications, to stop faking it and get out of her wheelchair.

I (43f) have a sister (45f) who was diagnosed with cancer in 2019. It has been a long road. She received a transplant and has GVHD. It’s been incredibly difficult to watch her get frail and lose mobility. She can’t work and spends the majority of time at hospital getting treatments.

She called me to share that her favorite group from Europe was having a rare concert in the state I live in and that I should go. I flew her out (we live on opposite sides of the US) and invited our other sister (41f) to join us.

She called to tell me a few weeks prior to her trip that she can’t walk across a room anymore and is very weak. I made every accommodation that I could for her. This is a big deal as she has a tendency to downplay how sick she is.

When I picked them up from the airport, I barely recognized her. She told us that night that she thinks this is the end of her life and is looking at palliative care. This was the last time she would be physically able to travel and that we would be able to do one of our girls trips. She needs help to get out of a wheelchair.

We went to the concert and the venue was very small and intimate, and not ADA compatible. There were no handicap parking spots or elevators or designated spots for wheelchairs.

I found her a spot behind the last row just to the side of the hallway and grabbed two small chairs us. There are two entrances about 30 feet apart from each other. It takes less than a minute to exit the theater and walk around to the other entrance.

We were talking when a boomer started yelling at me to move out of his way. He was ramming his walker into my folding chair repeatedly. I told him we can’t move because she’s in a wheelchair and there’s no place for her to go without being in the flow of traffic.

He continues to violently ram my chair and yells loudly, “She’s faking it. Tell her to get her fat ass up and move.”

I responded calmly, “She can’t get out of the wheelchair. Please turn around, use the exit and come in the other door.”

He yells and rams my chair even harder, “I’m the one in a wheelchair with a disability and not her. MOVE!!!”

By this time, both of my sisters are aware of what’s happening. My sister (41f) climbs over the wheelchair (this was precarious) and tried to back up the wheelchair. She could only move it back about 4 inches.

He screams at me, “Move your lazy ass and stop making life harder for a poor old man.”

I cannot easily get out as he is blocking the only viable exit and running his walker repeatedly into my chair. I was afraid he was going to hit me. So I climb over both folding chairs in my high heels and my sister in her wheelchair. He keeps ramming my empty chair and making a scene.

The area is so narrow that it’s barely wide enough for his walker so there is no way he can get by unless he wants to move the chairs and we would have to completely exit the venue.

He continues on with his tantrum then starts demanding that I go find his wife because she will know what to do. She’s just on the other side of the aisle from my sister and ignoring him.

He abruptly stops, turns around and in less than a minute is next to his wife.

Meanwhile, all three of us are really shaken. So many people, including the ushers, witnessed this and no one helped us. I was so angry and shaking and it took me a long time to calm down.

Edit: Update

First of all, I have been so overwhelmed and grateful for the support, encouragement, and recommendations.

I did some sleuthing and found the direct number of the organizer for the concert. I called her today and told her what happened.

She was mortified and extremely apologetic and I felt heard. She was at the event and had no idea that it happened. Their policy is to escort patrons out of the building when they are aggressive and acting inappropriately.

This venue is very old and they are actively working on updating it to make it more accessible to those who are less mobile and have disabilities. She shared with me several different ways they are moving forward.

She also explained that because it was such a boon to get this particular group from Europe to visit, that they drew from a much larger geographical region than they normally do, and that this man was likely not a patron. She assured me that she would try to find out who the boomer and his wife were but that there was a good chance it wasn’t someone who normally frequents their facility.

She took notes during our conversation and asked a lot of questions. She is going to share this with everyone associated with the venue and use it for training in the future. They hope to provide excellent experiences for all and to become more inclusive. She also expressed gratitude that I would share this with her. All in all a great conversation and I feel good about it.

They want to send my sisters holiday cards with special notes to thank them for coming and commemorate our special night together. I think I’ll share their mailing addresses.

I also am considering contacting the group.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 💗